another version of F My Life happening now

"Today, I found the only man to hate sex. He's my boyfriend. FML."

Wow, how sucky is that? Even better, what if he were your husband???????

How can you hate sex? Seriously. Don't you get itches that need to be scratched? You know what I mean?

Weekly edition of F My Life!

"Today, I fell asleep on the train and accidentally wound up resting my head on a strange man's shoulder. When I woke up, I discovered that not only did he not object, but he decided to return the favor by resting his hand on my thigh. I was wearing a skirt. FML."

Wow, I don't know, I'm kinda horny now. Let's think about this. I could see this as a chapter in a mystery, couldn't you?

I really hope that the guy was good looking and not some grease-stained vagrant. That would definitely gross me out.

And that's why I don't allow myself to fall asleep on the metro or the buses. No thank you.

What would you do if this happened to you?

Here we go again...F My Life (the Wednesday edition)

"Today, at work I was told I'd be working over Christmas because I don't drink. Apparently it you're a tee total, you're not entitled to spend time with your family and are incapable of having fun. FML"


Boy, sure I am glad I drink!

belated F My Life post (should have been yesterday)

"Today, I was laughing at a story of a girl who had dropped her cellphone in a hottub and ruined it. As I was feeling pretty good about myself, I then realized that my cellphone was in the pocket of a sweater that I had just thrown in the washer 20 minutes prior. FML."


Yeah, cellphones are one of my have-to-have-the-greatest "toys". I have to have one of the latest and greatest. It's techie to me, so I have be up there.

Having this happen would absolutely suck.

Of course, the greatest cellphone service provider in the world doesn't get the iPhone, and that sucks also.

F My Life Wednesday

"Today, I found out that my friend uses pictures of me to motivate her to work out. They are accompanied by sayings such as "you don't want to turn out like this." FML"

Now that's just wrong. Friend? I doubt it.

Happy Veteran's Day!

F My Life time again

"Today, I found out that my best friend and the guy I had a crush on for 2 years are getting married. The worst part is that they've been dating for 2 years in secret, and just came out about it now. I've been telling her for 2 years how much I like him, and she's encouraged me the whole time. FML."

Wow, that would really suck. Can you say Adios Amiga?

Underappreciated?

"Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said "Aww, You're sweet! I love you too!" He looked confused and said, "That's great, but I was reaching for the remote." FML."

cred to F My Life.

WTF Wednesday - AKA F My Life

"Today, in front of a bunch of people on my college campus, my mom grabbed my hand and lead me across the street. I'm 20. FML."

Courtesy of F My Life.

F My Life (again) (recurring)

Here we go again, thanks to F My Life"

"Today, I got a text message from a number I didn't know telling me, "Fine. It's over, have a wonderful life." I've never had a girlfriend and now I get broken up with by girls I don't even know. FML."

Have a great Wednesday!

Would ya, could ya, F My Life Wednesday?

Courtesy of F My Life on the web.

"Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curview than me. FML."

And there you have it, another edition of F My Life coming right at you.

Welcome to Wednesday: it's F My Life day

"Today, I got an iPhone. I was excited and because I have a new number I wanted to mess with my girl a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Josh. FML"

kudos to F My Life.

F My Life wonderful Wednesday

Credit to them.

"Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML."

I don't know. I can't imagine people believe everything they see and read online. I mean, come on. Would you really not question whether someone was married or not out on one of those dating sites?

I am a pessimist and I would have plenty of doubts.

Just me.

Guess what time it is?

It's F My Life time! Yeah.

"Today, I found out that my boss plays a trick on all the interns. He calls you to his office, then leaves you waiting outside until you get annoyed and leave. Apparently, the old record was 45mins. I waited 4 hours. FML"

F My Life Wednesday

Actually this is a pretty lame one, but no time to chit chat. Credit to F My Life.

"Today, I quit my job that my girlfriend and I worked together at. Fellow employees are not allowed to date one another and I said it would be ok if I was the one to leave. When I got home to her and told her that I quit, she decided to break up with me. I now have no job and no girlfriend. FML."

That was pretty sad. He's just trying to do the right thing and gets screwed in the end. Time to grow up and think only of yourself. That's the only way you will make it in the world.

F My Life Wednesday on Thursday

How could I be so thoughtless? I know, you look forward to my F My Life posts every week and I let you down. I sincerely apologize.

No really, please forgive me.

Here is yesterday's forgotten F My Life.

"Today, my brother deleted all traces of the novel I've been working on for three years from my laptop. The reason? When I was born "I stole all of Mum and Dad's attention." He's 24. FML"

With all the writers and would-be-writers out there, can you say death wish? Holy shit, I would have killed him.

I couldn't even imagine that happening to me or even doing it to someone. I guess that's just another reason for backups.

F My Life Wednesday (yes it's a weekly thing)

Hmmm, wonder whether or not I'll be able to access the site on my computer this week? Or will I have to get there on my bberry? Let's find out.

Shit head.

"Today, I went to the grocery store. My checker was very hot. When it came time for me to pay, I swiped my debit card & the machine kept rejecting it. Sure that I had money in my account, I did it again, before the cute checker informed me that I was swiping my driver's license, not my debit card. FML." credit to F My Life.

That's kind of cute, something a normal person would do. I imagine they got a little flustered or were trying to be cool and just grabbed a similar card. I've come close to doing something like that.

"On ice or grass we'll kick your ass"

I love that slogan. Go Pittsburgh!

Time again for F My Life Wednesday

Kudos to F My Life.

Or not. WTF! Now that site is banned at work. I absolutely hate the fact that anything that could remotely have a word with s+e+x or f+u+c+k or h+o+r+n+y or what ever, gets banned at work.

Seriously, what the hell? I can get around it. I do have a cell phone. With internet access. And a blackberry. With internet access.

Ha! Hold me back, I think not. Now I have to go load it up via another device. You suck!

"Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML."

So there, take that work. Ha Ha Ha.

Oh well, have a nice Wednesday.

Holy Crap! Today is F My Life Wednesday

In short - thanks F My Life.

"Today, while at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to shower, his mother slams a pair of underwear on the table and tells me if she ever finds something like that in her son's room again, she is forbidding him from seeing me. The underwear isn't mine. FML."

There you have it, another edition of someone's lowest moments. Gotta feel bad for some of these people.

It's been a while.....

wow, it's really been a while since I've posted. Sorry, I was sick, didn't come to work Monday or Tuesday.

I'm better now, not 100% (matter of fact, much of today I didn't feel so hot), but feeling better.

So let's get right to it:

F My Life Wednesday

"Today I had sex with my fiancee. My panties fell behind the bed. Later, when I went to get them, I found three other pairs. Only one pair was mine. FML."

Have a great Wednesday.

I have to work harder at this blog. No! You think so? Duh?!

F My Life Wednesday

And another one comes around - thank you F My Life!

"Today I was driving 3 of my guy friends to a party that was half an hour away. There was an awkward silence for most of the trip. I just figured out why now. I've had sex with all 3 of my guy friends. They talk about it when I'm not around. FML."